PS I Love You

It's the last day of school before Winter Break, and I'm really excited. It's terrible of me, but I am SOOO ready to get out of here and just live MY life for a few weeks instead of worrying about everyone else. Don't get me wrong, I love my friends. But I'm sick of people commenting on my relationship with Kellie. I'm sick of everyone saying that they never get to see their significant other when they have the chance to do so every single day, in school. I'm lucky if I get to see Kellie for more than five minutes every other day. That's why I beg her to come to school clubs - so I can spend time with her, time I otherwise wouldn't have. I love her. I really and truly do.

She almost left me last night. After she saw that note from Jonathan in my journal and just left out of the club. Once Poetry had ended, I came out and there she was, sitting at a table with Danielle. Naturally, because it's me, I had an absolute meltdown. We got into it bad, her saying that she wasn't going to put up with it anymore, me trying to control her. I'm really not trying to control her. I just despise Danielle. That girl has done entirely too much to me, to Kellie, to Britt, to everyone she associates with. SHE is the one with whom Brittany cheated on me, then left me. It was HER who tried to convince Kellie to leave me. She has never had a problem lying to me, either. I can never forgive her, as much as she begs. It's not in me. I just can't believe that she deserves it. Of course, there's also Britt. I'm excited about not having to see her over break. I plan on delivering her gift, but only when she's at her dad's so that I don't have to deal with her. The way she said it this morning, "Oh, what about my gift?" Yeah, well, Britt, you didn't get me SHIT so why should I get YOU anything? But of course, I've never mattered enough to her for her to get me a gift, as much as she whined and complained about how I wouldn't talk to her anymore and it was all her fault and blahblahblah. That thing with the icing? Where I wouldn't lick it off her finger, and she said that I didn't do it because I have a girlfriend that doesn't know how to have fun. I wanted to say, "No, I'm just not a cheater anymore. How about you? Do you still cheat on a regular basis like you did once upon a time?" Because I don't care anymore. I can't handle trying to balance her "woe is me" attitude.

I don't know. Sunday I plan on delivering those gifts which I have yet to. I am going to see PS I Love You with Kayla tomorrow because we both discovered that amazing novel at around the same time. Then, either when Kayla's gone or when she comes back, Sydney, Josh, Kellie, possibly Kellie, and me are going to see Sweeney Todd!! I can't wait - Johnny Depp being a singing, homicidal barber? HECK YES!!!!

I wish all of you a very happy holiday. I will be thinking of everyone on New Year's, remember all that has been done for me. I love my friends, and I love my family. Everyone needs a little break once in a while. That's what Christmas is for. :-D