Missing you....

Turk had 6 tumors. One had completely eaten away one of his lungs (that's why he couldn't stop panting). Another had blocked off his nerves (that's why he could barely walk). We had to put him to sleep last night, which hurt so much more than I wish it did....I've randomly burst into tears for the past 24 hours, missing that dog. He did so much for me. He would walk with me to Poppy's in the dark when I was too afraid to go by myself. He would cuddle up to me whenever I cried and let me cling to him. He put up with a six-year-old boy and a 1-year-old puppy (my sister's) with such ease. He protected us. I remember when mama and daddy were having a play fight, and mama shouted "help, turk, save me!". He looked so lost, like "He's my owner, but he's hurting my other owner!" So he bit daddy, lightly. It was sweet because it proved that if a stranger tried to hurt one of us, Turk would fight relentlessly for us. I keep looking at the picture I use as a bookmark, the one of Turk and Lachlan sleeping because Lachlan fell asleep on Turk's bed, so Turk just laid with him and put a protective paw over him...He was the best dog anyone could EVER ask for, and I will continue to love him deeply. Mama said we can order a headstone for him. "He dedicated 11 years of his life to the military, so he deserves a proper headstone," she says. I agree.

I still remember when I first saw him. He was brought to the Coast Guard station in July 1995, when I was five years old. Not 4 months later, Granny, my dad's mom, passed away. Daddy started spending most of his time at the station to get his mind off things. Turk definitely helped him get through that hard time. He's always been there, always been so good to everyone around him. He was dignified and playful and adorable and protective all at once, and I loved him so much for it.

Daddy wants to get a new dog at some point, which is understandable. After we buried Turk, dad stayed outside, talking to him, more than 30 minutes after the rest of us had gone inside. I don't really want a new dog. If they get one, I hope they wait until I've left. I can't handle another dog around - there is no other dog for me.

Maybe I'm being overdramatic. Like Wesley once said, "It's just a dog". But he wasn't just a dog. He was my best friend, my big brother, and my pet last.

I love you, Turk...

1995~2007