This is the first day of my life

It's a new semester, but I can barely feel it. I'm in second bell right now, which is my Independent study with Miss Person. God, I hope these sophomores won't be in here every day! They're sooooo loud and obnoxious, and I can't even hear myself type, which sucks because i love that noise.

Things have been so crazy-hectic lately. Kellie and I kind of broke up, but we got back together 15 minutes later. We took a few days not speaking except for a goodnight so we could think about things and what we need to fix. I have to start letting her hang out with Danielle. She's lonely and has no other friends, and I feel like a total bitch for acting so jealous...So yeah. She can hang out with Danielle, i can hang out with Jonathan. But always with a third party, and never on the "same surface" (i.e. couch or chair). God, i hope this works.

I'm scared that I act like that story we read in AP...The story about the woman whose husband dies in a train accident, and at first she's depressed and crying...But then she realizes that she's free.......Then turns out, he didn't die, so she dies of a heart attack when she sees him.

That obviously makes me a shit girlfriend, but i always have been one, so it doesn't matter, does it?

I wrote a new poem and put it on dA, so I guess I'll post it here, too. i'm actually really proud of it. :-)


Broken on the Bricks
January 10, 2008 10:31 pm

Poor little china doll,
shattered on the bricks.
There’s not enough love for you –
impossible to fix.
Even a broken heart
with cracks in one brown eye
can see the truth for what it is,
can ease the urge to cry.

Poor little china doll,
who left you void of grace?
Who couldn’t find that perfect girl
no other could replace?
When the villains of this love song
realize what they’ve done,
your precious porcelain will be dust,
faded with the sun.

Poor little china doll,
take comfort in the thought
that no one knows the real from false,
and love is all for naught.
Recall with fondness all who cared
(though the names are few).
This is the death of beauty –
this is the last of you.